Just make some stuff up, the peons won't know

I was just shaking my head when I read the Yahoo headline/sub-header for Dan Wetzel's column 'Perfectly Miserable - A dull game, a dead crowd and a grind-it-out victory. Pats coach Bill Belichick wouldn't have had it any other way.'

STOP IT!

We all get the fact that a team going for a never before accomplished 16-0 record is going to be in our face week after week; but can we at least keep it real.

The Pats won a 20-10 grind it out game against a very weak NY Jets team. Ironic that Belichick wouldn't want it any other way in lieu of these facts, heading into the contest:

• Tom Brady came into the game with 45 TDs thrown and was on pace to surpass Peyton Manning's 2004 single season TD record of 49. Brady average 315 yds/gm, 3.4 TDs/gm, a 70.2 comp. %, 5 INTs, 4 fumbles all for a 123.5 rating.
• Randy Moss had 82 receptions, 1264 yards (97.2 yds/gm), and 19 TDs.
  
• The average score of their wins was 38.7 to 17.1, a 20.6 point differential.
• Laurence Maroney was the 40th ranked rb in Yahoo fantasy leagues. In ten games, he averaged 52.7 yds/gm while scoring 2 TD's. He carried the ball 12.6 times a game, netting 4.2 yds/carry.

Ok, I think can safely say that the Pats would love to play every week in nice weather, allowing Brady and Moss turn up the pressure on defenses and jump out to an insurmountable lead.

These two will end up in the top five in MVP voting. Maroney will simply be known as the soft underbelly; when experts argue why future powerhouses would beat the 07 Patriots. He is even more of a liability than the Pats aged linebacker core of Seau 38, Bruschi 34 and Vrabel 32.

It's obvious that the fabled Belichick would not prefer to play in Ice Bowl II anytime soon. The 07 Pats deserve to be in the debate for greatest team ever, but the Purple People Eaters and the Steel Curtain; teams that truly preferred and performed at maximum output in cold miserable games are turning over in their graves right now.

Yea we know how much the Pats love to "grind it out". I bet they are just wishing they can see an Adrian Peterson vs Laurence Maroney match-up in the Super Bowl. Afterall, even if 'All Day' Peterson is better, the Pats have that superior rush defense...Oh wait they don't! The Vikings D gives up 3 yds/run to the Pats mortal 4.3 yds/run.

Is this all getting too real for you?

Ok, you can go back and suck on Belichick's teet with Wetzel as he writes, "Here's the thing about Belichick, the stuff that gets lost in all the hoopla around his hoodies, his handshakes and his histrionics: As much as he looks like a guy who's having no fun."

Alliterate away and after all an attitude awaits alluminously. Oh sorry, I thought we were playing the mindless alliteration game. I know before that we were playing 'Here comes the airplane.'

It's like they say in Young Guns 2, there's good news and bad news. The bad news is there's only expletive for dinner. The good news is there's plenty of it.

Thanks to Wetzel, I now know that the ideal game strategy is a blood and guts grind it out game in the snow. Nevermind Brady going 14-27 with 0 TDs 1 INT and 5.2 yds/attempt and Moss going for 79 yards and no TDs. As long as they can only get 26 carries for 104 yards out of Maroney, it's all gravy.

I mean it was good enough to beat the 3-11 Jets by ten points. There has not been a stronger strategy since France built a fortress on the French/German border to keep Hitler out.

Excuse me, I have to go look up histrionics in the dictionary now.