Ohio Governor Disses LeJoke

D-Lame and The Jester James

Shots Heard blasted Dwyane Wade and Lebron James for mocking Dirk playing with a Game 4 illness. It was especially pathetic that after Wade and James did this video before Game 5, Wade ended up missing a half of Game 5 by faking a hip injury.

At least in the back of my mind, I wanted to believe that Wade saw something that made him think Dirk was faking the illness or even embellishing it.

But in a recent comments, Wade validated that he was a complete fool. Now he claims that he was really coughing and he blames the media for taking it out of context.

 D-Wade? Try D-Lame.

On an off day, following Game 5, when Dirk caught wind of their mockery he called them out (as Shots Heard did), calling them "a little childish and a little ignorant."

Try completely childish. Wade is not just the child that gets into trouble. He is the child that does something stupid right in front of your face and then says he did not do it. The dude just ain't cool and by the way the D in D-Lame does not stand for Dwyane. You can figure out what it stands for.

As for James, his well documented antics are pathetic as well. A recent story talked about him texting an anonymous player and saying 'yo it's King James.' No it's not. You're a Jester in D-Lame's court.

WWE FInals Game 3: How the company men do it!

It is no secret that David Stern uses 'company men' to interficiate basketball games and get the results that he wants. In Game 3 of the WWE Basketball Finals, his company men conveniently overlooked Haslem blocking Dirk like a linebacker while Chris Bosh sank what would be the game winning shot.

But before it even gets to the end of the game, the company men keep it close by making up fouls. In this play Wade flops on a rebound that he never had any chance of getting and the refs not only take away the possession from the Mavs, but they give Wade two free throws.

Announcer Jeff Van Gundy discusses Wade fooling the ref. But there was no fooling the ref. The ref called what he wanted to call. Wade just gave him the excuse he needed.

Goons! Hired goons! That's all NBA refs are. 

Bonus shout-out: Van Gundy and fellow announcer Mark Jackson have constantly criticized the officiating throughout WWE Basketball Finals game. And then at one point in Game 4, they agreed that the NBA refs are the best refs in the world.

Really? Is that your version of Heil Stern? The man on the street would be a better ref and you know it! At least bad officiation goes both ways. Stern's agenda is ruining the game and you know it. Don't just kiss ass after the fact because you're sipping more than your fair share of the gravy a-holes.

Have they ever watched an international basketball game? The refs call the game right. Flops are not rewarded. Charges are charges. Blocks are blocks. Moving screens are moving screens. Stop pretending like officiating is an amazingly difficult task. It's not (at least for a significant portion of the population). 

If  WWE Basketball wanted to fix the reffing deficiencies they would. But that is not how the WWE Basketball Leauge works. Heaven forbid a real basketball game breaks out. 

Stern desperately tries to avoid the wrong teams getting the glory (and the lower ratings). In the 2005 Finals between the San Antonio Spurs and Detroit Pistons, the two most fundamentally sound teams in league history squared off. Even Tim Duncan's nickname was 'The Big Fundamental.' 


However, that series was one of the worst rated series in the post-Jordan era. That meant less money for Stern. Sometimes even Stern's company men cannot prevent the undesirable match-ups from occurring. But they will be ever vigilant in favoring the higher rated teams. The entire world knows that.

Congress should step in and make the NBA and the referees independent of each other. That may never happen. But in the meantime we don't need Van Gundy and Jackson giving us the good news and bad news Young Guns 2 style.


What's the bad news? There's only sh*t for commentary.


What's the good news? There's plenty of it!

The whiny bunch mock Dirk and pay

Yesterday, we posted an article blasting Wade for faking an injury and sitting out a half of the biggest game (Game 5) of the WWE Basketball Finals. We were not even aware that before the game James and Wade had mocked Dirk playing sick in Game 4.

Really Wade?

You're going to mock a guy that was clearly legitimately sick? How else do you explain Dirk missing the six shos in a row possibly for the first time in his career if not months or years. The dude had been making anything and everything before that night. 

Now, I understand that the media and players often embellish their illness. To this day, I have no reason to believe that Jordan was that sick when he played in the Finals. Because frankly, if he was that sick he would not have been playing.

But there is no doubt that Dirk played a game while being under the weather. You could see it in his face. And down 2-1 in a series, Dirk was much more worried about actually winning the game than attention whoring it up.

Attention whoring is your game James and Wade. And your game is weak. Wade faked an injury (infirmity) in Game 5, the very thing he had just mocked! And then when he could not come back in the game and make a heroic comeback he decided that he had enough of that. He did not want to even worry about his pretend injury going forward.

Perhaps Wade learned a little something something from his fellow whiner, James. Last year in a game against the Bulls James tried to make his second free throw with his left hand. When he completely bricked it he spent weeks faking a right elbow injury.

In James own words, "it's nothing structural." It was merely a "funny bone" injury. Oh yea, I've had funny bone injuries and then ran around like my arm needed to be in a sling. JACKASS.

Lebron made such a joke of himself that one dude even made a twitter account mocking him:

http://twitter.com/#!/lebronselbow

And let us take time to remember this play by Wade. The dude charges into Brian Cardinal, gets right up and and makes two free throws and then acts like he got shot in the hip. JACKASS.

  
Wade and James mocked Dirk and then went out and lost Game 5. Idiots. 

The sad thing is that we've seen this show before. Wade and James celebrated their Game 2 15 point fourth quarter lead right in front of the Mavs bench and then choked away the game.



The Heat have adequately proved the adage, 'fools mock but they shall mourn.'

Bonus: The third drama queen (Bosh) 

WWE Basketball Finals: The Heat's Big Three come up short in Game 5, but a potential Game 7 might be different

The Miami Heat's Big Three could not get the job done. No we are not talking about the media's pretend Big Three of Dwyane Wade, Lebron James and Chris Bosh.

The Big Three does not include Bosh. Is that what you thought? Please! At times we hardly even remember Bosh is on the court! At best, Bosh is an x-factor.

No, we meant the big three of Dywane Wade, Lebron James and top company man, Joey Crawford. That big three did not pull the Heat to a Game 5 win. Although, Game 7 could be a different story.

With seven minutes left (give or take some seconds) in a close Game 5, the Disney Sports Network affiliate showed the Big Three gathered together. We only wish we had the picture to show you! Go back and watch the game and you'll see it.

It was perfect! No words needed to even be spoken. Wade and James just leered at Crawford as to say, 'we can't take this game over by ourselves. We're going to need ya big guy.'

Perhaps Crawford gave them a silly call or two from there. But he did not make any especially outlandish calls with regularity. One might even say he called it straight up (but Shots Heard would never pretend that Crawford is ever on the up and up). 

Shots Heard called that Crawford would be the Game 5 and Game 7 referee. We know David Stern's game. Stern is an a-hole. We have no need to even sugarcoat that fact. 

Despite Crawford predictably being chosen to officiate, it was clear taht Crawford would be saving his best game rigging stuff for Game 7. Frankly, a Heat win in Game 5 would likely only build momentum for a Game 6 series clinching win at home in Miami. 

Neither Stern nor Crawford want a six game series.

Stern's pockets get lined by Game 7 earnings and that reality is reflected by Stern handsomely paying Crawford by the playoff game.

Crawford did his best to keep the game close by rewarding Wade with 12 free throws in 34 minutes. But he was not going to go so far as to absolutely throw this game for the Heat (2006 WWE Basketball Finals style) by putting Wade on the line every time a Mav breathed on him.

If there is a Game 7, Crawford knows who Stern wants win: THE HEAT. That is when the figurative heat will really be on him to make bogus calls or conveniently miss calls just like he did in last year's Game 7 WWE Finals in which he did Stern's bidding of ensuring a Lakers championship victory against the Celtics.

To win, James or Wade had to have a great game or Crawford needed to interficiate and throw the balance of the game. None of those things happened. But might it be a different story in Game 7. One thing is for sure, Stern's best company man, Joey Crawford will be officiating a Game 7 if there is a Game 7. It's sad that we know that (without actually knowing it). Sad.

Faker! Wade's childish antics cost him this time

It seems appropriate that David Stern runs the NBA like the WWE because Dwyane Wade has taken WWE Basketball to the next level. 

In the first quarter of the pivotal Game 5 of the WWE Basketball Finals, Dwyane Wade banged into Brian Cardinal (The Custodian). He was okay though. He even immediately asked his teamates to help him up. He made his two free throws and then suddenly he acted like he suffered a Bo Jackson career ending hip injury. He was faking (remember Shots Heard is based on calling it how it is).

While his team needed him on the court, he was milking his pretend injury and dreaming of his coronation as the latest great sports hero of our time. He even built up the drama by calling his return to the game 'questionable.' Of course, nobody believed that he was not coming back into the game. Well anybody that isn't a stupid idiot didn't believe that anyways.

Wade did not bother to come back into the game until half way through the third quarter. The game was still close. And with the Heat down for most of a close game, he did not even bother to pretend that the pretend injury mattered.

Of course, maybe the plan all along was for a rested Wade to come back into a still close game relatively late. Maybe it was a ploy. Either way, the entire ploy insulted the senses.

Often times, the aftermath verifies the reality. In this case, the aftermath would be the post-game press conference. When Jason Terry was asked to regard Wade's injuries he pointed out that Wade was as aggressive as ever.

When Wade was asked to address the injury, he admitted that it did not affect his play and he would not regard it further. The charade had left a bad taste in his mouth. Moreover, he knew it was something of potential folklore that had only melted down into a pathetic ploy gone wrong.

Want further proof that Wade was faking? He wasted no time declaring that he would be fine to play Game 6. There was no talk of an MRI or whatever have you.

How many times have we seen Wade get touched and act like he got blasted? He has always loved the attention for the wrong reasons. His bad behavior is constantly reinforced by officials giving him 'star calls.' This time, he paid the price.

Picture 1: Dwyane Wade is always looking to the refs (and viewers) for sympathy. It's no wonder that Charles Barkley call his team 'The Whiny Bunch.'

Picture 2: When this is your self image, you want to make a heroic second half entrance and lead your team to the promised land.

2011 WWE Basktetball Finals: The numbers do lie, Points in the taint

Through four games of the 2011 WWE Basketball Finals, the Dallas Mavericks have shot 21 more free throws than the Miami Heat. The Phil Jackson approach to such numbers would be to think that the Mavericks are getting the benefits of the calls. That would be a fallacious approach to the matter (as was generally the case in Phil's history). Not all teams were created equal.

Let us consider why the Mavs should get to the free throw line more often than the Heat.

The Mavs size advantage

The Dallas Mavericks have three seven footers (Dirk Nowitzky, Tyson Chandler, Brendan Haywood) who offensively perform on the low post. The Miami Heat have none. The closest thing they have to a low post presence is Chris Bosh, who is really a high post player and has no intention of consistently bodying up the Dallas bigs. For that matter, he has no intention of rough housing with anybody's bigs. Shaq knew what he was saying when he called Bosh the Rupaul of Big Men (Oh and special shout-out to the RealGM.com a-hole mods  who thought it was cool to censor any and all conversation on that matter).

It's also noteworthy that the Heat would much rather see Haywood (the league's worst free throw shooter) on the line rather than shooting chippies. They will foul him on purpose and if the refs conveniently miss the call, all the better.

Mavs are ready for the James and Wade drives (and they do not need to foul)

It is true that Miami Heat stars Lebron James and Dwyane Wade can consistently use their quickness to get into the lane. But when it happens, the Dallas defense is geared to have helpers prevent easy lay-ups and dunks by those players. Of course that will leave somebody open, but let's face facts, the Miami role players are not inspiring fear in anybody. 

The strategy is clearly to force the role players to make open shots or force James and Wade into bad shots. It's a solid strategy, but some of it is negated when interficials look for any excuse to turn a non-foul into a foul.

How often in this series have you seen Wade and James get easy driving non fast break lay-ups and dunks? You could probably count them on one hand.

There is just rarely a need to foul James and Wade. That fact is reflected in Game 1. In that game James and Wade shot a combined 7 free throws. 

When David Stern inserted his Company Man Dream Team of Joey Crawford, Ken Mauer and Ed Malloy for Game 2, they called enough pretend fouls to put Wade himself on the line 12 times. The Heat went to the line 24 times that game to the Mavs 21.

Mavs have more players that frequently get to the rim

Besides James and Wade, who gets to the rim for Miami? That's right, nobody! On the Mavs side you have Dirk, Chandler, Haywood, Marion, Barea and even Terry. Even a player like Kidd is going to penetrate the lane more consistently then any third player on the Heat. 

Essentially, foul shots are the result of getting to the basket and the other team not wanting to give up an easy basket. In a fairly officiated game it is unlikely that the Mavericks would have less than a ten free throw surplus.

***

It is all about Points In The Taint

During last year's WWE Basketball Finals between the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers it was obvious just how many ways that the interficials could decipher the outcome. Shots Heard had to make up a term to describe it. That term was and is 'points in the taint.'

The Lakers won the points in the taint battle and their series clinching play was even a points in the taint play (Gasol landing/traveling before making his series clinching shot).

Back in the days of yore, teams that won the points in the paint match-up usually won the game. In today's NBA, teams like the Miami Heat (who have no low post presence) win games and series by winning the points in the taint battle.

Points in the taint comes in many fashions. It can come by the interficials allowing the Heat to bang against the Mavs on one end and calling touch fouls on the Mavs at the other end. That is actually the best way for the interficials to have an impact on the game. The cumulative effect of calling a game in that manner can turn a 20 point blow-out by the Mavs into a 4 point win for the Heat. This is a very under-rated tactic. And the best part for the interficials, is that there is no signature play that points towards unfairness or corruption.

Missed calls count too. At one point in Game 2, Wade dunked an offensive rebound into the hoop while it was easily over the cylinder.

Last but not least - more and more officials are using technical fouls to deflate a team's morale. On two occasions, the interficials have hit Mavs coach Rick Carlisle with a bogus technical foul. Both times, the refs made a bad call that was civilly objected by Carlisle. Yet, the interficials added insult to insult by t'ing him up. During the first such instance, announcer Jeff Van Gundy said he monitored the entire interaction and found absolutely no wrong doing (including cussing) by Carlisle.

In the previous three five game series, the Miami Heat out shot their opponents from the free throw line by about 50 free throws per series. Given how 'soft' the Miami Heat really are, that's a mind boggling stat.

The discrepancy was so profound that before the series even began, James and Wade were bragging about the touch fouls on drives being a part of their team's model for success. As a fan that watches that type of crap unfold, I'm sickened. It's like a victim having to hear his assaulter brag about the crime after the fact. And yes, the state of NBA officiating is a crime to the senses (and likely a real crime that has yet to go prosecuted).

Make no mistake. The Mavs have a free throw surplus, but the Heat are winning points in the taint. With each of the last (potential) three games being so much more critical we can only expect the points in the taint advantage to be more profound.

If the Mavs play their A game like they did against the Lakers, they willl win the series regardless of points in the taint. The same concept held true for the Celtics when they played the Heat. They were the better team on paper. But a tired team playing their C game lost that series in 5.

If the Mavs play their C game like they have been, they will lose this series. 

If the Mavs play their B game, anything can happen, assuming the Heat don't bring their A game. But so-so jump shooting teams rarely bring their A-game. And the Heat's A game is only an A if good shooting is combined with good defense that leads to fast break points. That is a rare combination for the Miami Heat who are essentially a two and a half man team.

Either way, expect points in the taint to have a major impact on the conclusion of this series.

Picture 1: Eric Spoelstra and Dwyane Wade tell Joey Crawford how he can be a better interficial. Seriously, why do the officials insist on conferencing with the 'stars?' It's to make sure they are content and have reached their star call quota.

Picture 2: How often do we see it? Wade goes in for a lay-up free and clear, grazes against a finger and a ref blows his whistle for the and one. Sickening!

Picture 3: You won't catch Crawford sharing intimate looks with the 'mid market' team's players like he does with Dwyane Wade.

It's Go Time For Joey Crawford

Despite David Stern's best efforts, the Mavs and Heat series is tied two to two after four games. For marketing purposes, Stern needs two Miami victories in three games for the Dwyane Wade / Lebron James 'Dynasty' to begin.

It's time for Stern to go to his best company man, Joey Crawford. Shots Heard is predicting Joey Crawford appearances in the most pivotal games, Game 5 and Game 7. Book it.

And if for some reason we are wrong and Stern does not want to appear so blatant in using Crawford in WWE Basketball Finals games 5 and 7 two years in a row, then still expect to see Crawford in Game 6 or 7 in Miami. 

If the Mavs are up 3-2, Stern will use Crawford to stem the tide and at least get the series to a Game 7. If the Heat are up 3-2, Stern will save Crawford in the event that a Game 7 is necessary. The latter is optimal for Stern. He loves Game 7 money and having his best man on the floor when the series and financial vitality of the NBA are in the balance.