What to do when the NBA playoffs takes a turn for the boring? That's right, the Atlanta Hawks and Orlando Magic are playing. Josh Smith and Dwight Howard are arguably the best young defenders in the game, but it is still boring when they cannot put the ball in the bucket from distance to save their lives. And Vince Carter is the major scorer on the floor? How old is he in dinosaur years?
There is that other allegedly 'major sport' is having their playoffs right now that we can look at instead. Seriously, I did not even know that my LA Kings were in the playoffs until they were practically out of it. That is how much attention hockey garners with me these days. But no offense hockey fans.
So let us examine hockey for the first time this season (or postseason):
The Detroit Red Wings staved off getting swept by the Sharks tonight. Is this the start of another heartbreak for San Jose Sharks fans. Seriously, how many Presidents Cups are they going to win before they win Lord Stanley's Big Gulp Cup. And if you tell me they've won zero or only one I'll slap you or better yet hit you with a slap shot.
Remember Bing Crosby, I mean Bobby Crosby or whatever his name was, slapping in the Gold Medal shot against Team USA? Well Americans that want revenge can root for his Pittsburgh Penguins to lose. Of course you would have to root for the Montreal Canadians. That's a pickle. Root for the Canadian team over the American team to get revenge? Well maybe it makes more sense to root for the Canadiens based on the fact that they are Boston's 24/7 Party Daddies.
The Vancouver Canucks are up two games to one on the Chicago Blackhawks. If the Cubbies are the loveable losers, the Blackhawks are the hateable losers. Ever listen to a Blackhawk fan whine about a move they did not like in 1987 or 1992. I can only imagine what'd it would be like if they were good. No wait I can. Picture an arrogant Red Sox fan. I'll take any team that has ethnic pride. Good job Canucks. I'm still waiting for a team to be called the Anglo Saxons.
In the last conference semifinal match-up the Boston Bruins are up three games to zero on the Philadelphia Flyers. Good, looks like their just setting them up for another lesson from their 24/7 party daddies.
That's the news in hockey. Enjoy it. You never know when it will happen again at Shots Heard. But I brought the shotgun out to blast the ice tonight. Did Shots Heard just talk about hockey? Does that blow your mind?
Picture 1: This girl knows where that cup has been.
Picture 2: Bekah Jenkins (model). If you get so bored that you are watching the NBA playoffs with your head to the side, then switch to the NHL Playoffs. At least the action is fast moving and the refs do not think they are on a team.
Picture 3: Beware of the Penguin and lcopyright infringement claims by Bud Light if you use their slogan.
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